I wonder if it is possible to not compare the development of two kids. Will is affectionate and likes soft toys. I told people for years to not buy Aidan stuffed animals because he only played with hard things: wood, metal, plastic. Aidan was silent, so much so that I didn't mind when he cried because I got to hear his voice. Will was having babbling conversations at two months. Will is mirroring Aidan's locomotive development, a fast crawler, desperate to climb stairs and he's right on track to starting walking a couple of weeks after his first birthday, exactly like Aidan.

As I notice these things, and wonder what Willie will be like when he gets older, I've also been thinking about how these early traits have have manifested in who Aidan is today. As a toddler, Aidan would run leaning forward, as if falling and catching himself quickly with his feet. He would look like an adorarable, reckless duckling and I could pick out the distinct sound of his steps in a group of kids. He still has the same heavy step and is incapable walking quietly. He often wakes Will up simply with his footsteps. Ah, he just did it.

Aidan distressed me as a baby by refusing to eat food until he was over a year old. A mom of five boys in our homeschooling group told me once that she never gave her babies solid food before a year of age. I thought I was in good company, her family operates a sort of homestead with their own cows and chickens and I have imagined her kids to be the sort to eat carrots out of the ground. I've come to find out that they are incredibly picky eaters who would be happy to eat nothing but macaroni and cheese, very much like my dear Aidan. It makes me think that perhaps her boys and Aidan were just born picky eaters. Will is not like this at all, he eats everything, including vegetables that have never passed over Aidan's tongue.

There was an article in the last issue of Brain, Child called, "Can Parents Take the Credit, or the Blame?". It rejects the commonly held assumption that our parenting affects how our kids turn out. Before I became a parent I was sure that I could affect how my child turned out, but almost every day I have been taught lessons in surrender and chaos. I can understand when people who don't have kids argue for nurture. I did. Most parents I know will comiserate when the subject comes up. To insist on nurture in the face of opposition becomes fascism, and it seems to me that most sensitive parents recognize this.

One of my household goals this year is to finally get chickens. I am interested in Chanteclers which Mother Earth News describes as "calm, gentle and personable". When we get a dog, we will look at breeds that are good with kids and might not eat our chickens. The idea that personality traits in animals are genetic is taken for grated. It's funny that so much of our culture assumes that humans are different from other animals in this way. It gives us something to be neurotic about, a uniquely human behavior.